Understanding Trauma: The Difference Between "Little T" and "Big T" Trauma

Trauma touches more lives than many might think. Many people go through life struggling with difficulties created by experiences which they do not realise qualify as trauma. In this post I aim to clarify what trauma is, to highlight the differences between "little T" and "big T" trauma, and emphasise why even seemingly minor traumatic events can significantly impact our lives.

Trauma can be defined as a deeply distressing experience that overwhelms a person's ability to cope. It can be as varied as physical harm or emotional distress, and its effects often linger long after the initial event. This can shape our thoughts, emotions, and actions, sometimes in ways we cannot fully understand.

Many people downplay their experiences, thinking they weren't "bad enough" or "big enough" to be the reason for their struggles, or they may not even have identified these experiences as the cause of their low self-esteem, lack of confidence or the patterns showing up in their relationships or elsewhere in their lives. This can significantly impact mental health and overall well-being.

What is "Big T" Trauma?

"Big T" trauma includes the events that most people think of when they hear the word "trauma". It encompasses severe, sometimes life-threatening events that can dramatically affect mental health. Often these are sudden, one-off events. These experiences include things like:

• Natural disasters: Events like floods (or in other parts of the world, hurricanes and earthquakes) can uproot communities and individuals alike.

• Serious accidents: A car crash, a serious accident at work or other significant accidents can change lives in an instant, leading to physical, sometimes life-altering, injuries and emotional scars.

• Violent assaults: Incidents of physical or sexual violence can create lasting fear and anxiety.

• Bereavement or sudden loss: The passing of a close family member, friend or pet can leave an enduring emotional void.

• Combat experiences: People in the military returning from conflict zones may struggle with vivid memories and sensations.

  
  

These events are intense and can involve immediate threats to personal safety, often leading to conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

What is "Little T" Trauma?

On the other hand, "little T" trauma includes less obvious, perhaps subtle, everyday experiences that may not seem as serious but can still significantly impact mental health. Because these traumas are often less sudden and intense or perhaps do not involve an immediate threat to life or safety, they are often minimised or discounted. In fact, these can have a dramatic effect, particularly where they are sustained over long periods of time. Examples of "little T" trauma are:

• Emotional neglect: Growing up in an environment where love and attention were lacking can lead to lasting emotional challenges.

• Bullying: Repeated bullying at school may impact a person's sense of self-worth, creating feelings that persist into adulthood.

• Parental divorce: The end of a parents' relationship can occur in many ways and can result in a wide variety of problems including relationship problems through adulthood, low confidence, anxiety, etc.

• Chronic stress: Ongoing stress from work or personal relationships can gradually wear down emotional resilience.

• Witnessing domestic violence: Even if not a direct victim, witnessing such events can lead to anxiety and helplessness.

  
  

These experiences might not seem life-threatening, but their cumulative effect can be extremely damaging. For instance, studies show that individuals with multiple adverse childhood experiences (known as ACEs) during childhood are at a higher risk for mental health issues later in life.

Why "Little T" Trauma Matters

Individuals who do not recognise their experiences as trauma may live in a perpetual cycle of self-blame and shame. This can result in a wide variety of problems including poor relationship choices, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and disordered eating.

When people do not believe their experiences were significant enough to be traumatic they may feel ashamed of seeking help, believing that others are more deserving of help or that if they were strong enough they would not need help. Given the impacts of these traumas can be severe and intergenerational, they deserve no less attention than "big T" traumas and seeking help is not weak, it is authentic, human and brave.

The Importance of Seeking Help

If you relate to any of the experiences mentioned, seeking help may offer relief and the opportunity for change. Therapy can provide a confidential and safe space to explore your feelings and experiences without judgment. Support is available in many forms both in-person and online and it is important to find what works for you in terms of the type of therapeutic approach and most importantly, with a trained professional you feel safe with. This support can be invaluable in processing trauma and dealing with the impact it has had on you.

It is also important to remember that just as we all have different reactions to other environmental factors (for example allergies to different substances) everyone's reaction to trauma is unique. What may seem minor to one person can feel overwhelming to another and its effect is also shaped by context and that person's unique set of life experiences.

Finding Help

Whether facing significant life events or subtle day-to-day struggles, remember that you are not alone, and support exists.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counsellor. Ensure that they are appropriately qualified by checking UKCP or BACP directories and consider speaking to two or three to find someone you feel comfortable with.

Trauma affects everyone, regardless of its scale and regardless of their circumstances. If financial constraints are stopping you from seeking help, it may be worth exploring low-cost counselling options offered by charitable organisations in your area. Trainee therapists, such as myself, also tend to offer lower rates but are not shown on the main UKCP directory. You can however search for them by name on the UKCP Trainee Directory (via a link in the text on the UKCP Register page).