The Neurodivergent Experience of Peri-/Menopause - Group Therapy Q&A

1.       Why group therapy and why for this group?

One of the questions I have been asked since setting this group up is why I decided to do it. In truth, the concept of group therapy was alien to me when I first began to study psychotherapy. Once I began to learn about it, I became intrigued about what it might offer compared to individual therapy and tried it out myself.

Around the same time, as a late-diagnosed woman in peri-menopause, I began to notice that so many of us were searching (on social media and elsewhere) for answers, support, validation, connection and community. I wondered whether group therapy could offer something that social media and even individual therapy couldn’t – not just support and validation, but genuine connection with other people experiencing this huge change within a small and contained community.

2.       What is group therapy?

To explain what group therapy is, it might be helpful to describe individual therapy first. Therapy is unique to each therapist and client pair, however, what I offer is:

• being beside my clients in exploring whatever it is they wish to explore, whether past, present or future, in relation to self, others or the world, or any combination of these;

• a confidential and non-judgmental space for each client, whether they are really struggling in life, feel deeply ashamed or feel they are doing ‘ok’ but just wanting to gain awareness;

• space to talk about all sorts of issues, including big ‘T’ trauma, little ‘t’ trauma (see my blog post here on the difference), relationship issues, illness, change, neurodivergence, depression, anxiety, etc.;

• neuro-affirming therapy for neurodivergent clients (self-diagnosis is valid); and

• a therapeutic framework grounded in a humanistic modality and drawing on tools to suit each client, including creative or mindfulness practices and psychoeducation.

In group therapy, much of the above is the same.

So what is different? Well, there is less focus on the one-to-one relationship between therapist and client. Instead of just one client, there is a small group sharing their own experiences, relating to and supporting each other’s process, all supported by the therapist facilitator. In this environment, old patterns might emerge and group members may learn to relate to each other in new ways and to develop a greater sense of autonomy in their own lives.

By being with others in the group, observing and interacting with them, members may see themselves in a new light and gain self-awareness. For many, this is an opportunity to test out new ways of being and relating in a safe and contained space and to face problems with a group instead of on their own.  

3.       Is it right for me?

Only you will know the answer to this question, but I hope that this information will help you to decide, along with a chat with me if that would be helpful. Below I’ve listed some concerns that you might have and my thoughts on these. Is there anything you’re not sure about that I haven’t mentioned below?

I’m not sure I ‘deserve’ a space as I’m doing ok really.	Often we can end up coming last in our own lives and don’t think we can ask for help or take time for ourselves unless things get extremely difficult. If something about this group spoke to you enough that you are reading this, then you are welcome. There is no ‘deserving’ or ‘undeserving’. The only criteria for joining is that you are or think you might be neurodivergent and in peri-/menopause.
I feel ashamed of my difficulties and worry others will think poorly of me.	Sometimes when we are struggling, shame can get in the way of seeking support. As a therapist, I offer empathy and no judgment and hope that anyone feeling this way will find the group to be a healing and validating space to share and explore your problems.
I’m worried I might not want to talk about certain things.	You will never be asked to share anything you do not want to share. The group is for everyone who joins to be there in whatever way is right for them in that moment, whether that means listening quietly for a time, sharing, stimming, doodling, knitting, drawing or whatever else allows you to be in the space as comfortably as possible. All I ask is that you ensure you join from a confidential space so that the session cannot be overheard by others.
I’m worried I might become tearful or emotional.	All of you is welcome, including your sadness, joy, anger, fear, excitement and anything else evoked in you during your time with the group.
Do I have to have my camera on?	While it would be helpful for everyone to have their cameras on as much as possible, I appreciate that this might be difficult to do at times. How we manage this is something we can discuss and agree as a group.
What kinds of things will people talk about?	Anything anyone wants to bring – subject to anything the group agrees together, this is an open space to explore each group member’s experience.
I’m concerned about how comfortable I will feel in a group and about who will be in it.	There will be a maximum of six participants, plus me as facilitator, allowing for all group members to participate and get to know each other. The group is a closed group for the duration, which means that the participants will remain the same throughout and no new members will join part-way through the 8 weeks. This is intended to create a sense of safety and containment within the group.
I might have to miss a session.	Due to illness or other unavoidable situations, you might find you are unable to attend a session. The group will go ahead and you can re-join the following week. If most of the group are unable to attend one week (for instance due to school holidays), then I may decide to cancel that week and the group will continue for an extra week to make up for the missed week.
I can’t afford to pay up front.	Please speak to me if this is an issue. It may be possible to agree an alternative payment plan if this would enable you to join.
Is my deposit refundable if the group does not go ahead?	If the group does not go ahead after you have paid the deposit (for example if there are not enough members), I will refund the deposit.
I really want to join but I cannot at the moment.	Please contact me and let me know. I am keeping a waiting list for a future group and will run it again if there is sufficient interest. If the reason you cannot join is that the day/time do not work for you, please let me know what days/times would work and I will bear these in mind if I run the group again.

Please note that if you are in crisis, group therapy is not going to be right for you at this time. I recommend you contact your GP, Samaritans or the emergency services.

4.       What can I expect?

This is difficult to answer as there are very few ‘rules’ beyond confidentiality. During the first session, I will ask the group to do two things: (1) to share a bit about themselves and what they hope to get out of the group by way of introduction and (2) to decide as a group on the group ‘rules’. This will include an invitation to ask for anything which you think might allow you to feel able to participate as comfortably and authentically as possible.

5.       How does the facilitator manage interactions between group members?

By agreeing a set of group rules together at the start, group members will create a framework for the group and this might include elements of my role as facilitator. Apart from what evolves within the group, my role as facilitator is to foster a safe environment, model appropriate communication, re-focus the group if things seem to become un-productive, manage conflict and offer feedback. This means that I might intervene in the event of disruptive behaviour, or I might gently remind group members of the group rules. Depending on what the group agrees, I might also guide interactions between group members, or ask individual group members whether they might like feedback from others in the group.

It is natural to feel daunted by the idea of joining such a group. If you still feel uncertain and would like to find out more, please book a call with me here or email me at emilie@wanderwoodtherapy.co.uk. I have spoken with a couple of people already and they have found it helpful to just chat things through before deciding whether it is right for them.